


In These Arms, Part XII - Turn The Page

by mrpicard



Series: Star Trek: TNG - In These Arms [12]
Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: The Next Generation (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-01 07:28:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8615059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrpicard/pseuds/mrpicard
Summary: Change is coming.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This part takes place about a month after the previous one.

 

**PROLOGUE**

 

" _Bridge to Captain Picard._ "

Picard looked up from his PADD. "Yes, Number One?"

" _There's a message for you from Starfleet Command. Text only._ "

"Put it through."

Picard activated the small computer screen on his ready room desk, read the text that appeared - and then stared at it in utter disbelief.


	2. Chapter 2

"You're holding it too high," Burke said, reached over and slowly adjusted Alex' arm. "Just concentrate on the target. There, that's better."

Alex frowned. "This is a lot more difficult than I thought it would be."

"You told me you took some basic weapons training..."

"Yeah, but that was years ago - and we definitely didn't use a shiny Starfleet phaser rifle."

Burke eyed the bartender carefully. "Are you sure this is what you want? You're not an officer, you don't need advanced weapons training."

"I'm sure, yes. I'm completely useless when it comes to defending myself - all I know is how to knock someone out, and I only know that because a Nausicaan bouncer taught me. If anything happens to incapacitate Jean-Luc, all I can do is sit there and yell at him to wake up. I have to be able to pick up a weapon and finish the job myself." Alex fired the rifle - and missed the target. "Shit!"

Burke put his hand on the young man's shoulder. "Alex, don't you think you're overreacting a little? I can count the number of intruder alerts in the past few years on one hand. As much as the security chief that I am hates to admit it, the galaxy _is_ a mostly peaceful place these days."

"It only takes _one_ attack," Alex retorted. "Laurent was almost killed because I was too weak to protect him. Jean-Luc had to save the day - again."

Burke sat down on a small bench. "Does he even know you're here? The captain, I mean."

Alex lowered the rifle and looked at his friend. "What do _you_ think? Of course he doesn't know. He tells me 'you don't need advanced weapons training, you're a civilian, you can rely on an entire ship of trained officers, blah blah blah'. Look at how _that_ one worked out when shit really hit the fan."

Burke leaned back. "I understand why you want to do something to prepare yourself, but really, you don't have a rifle in your quarters. If you are attacked in there - like you were when Laurent was threatened - none of this whole training will be of any use to you."

"We have a phaser," Alex said stubbornly.

"Yes, but you have to _get_ to that phaser first. And that can be a lot more complicated than it may seem." Burke stood up. "Where were you when the people from that other universe appeared?"

"In the living area with Laurent."

"And where was the phaser?"

"In the top drawer of Jean-Luc's bedside table."

"See?"

Alex looked at the floor and said nothing.

Burke sighed softly. "Alex... I watched you yesterday during your shift. You kept looking at the door as if you were expecting an entire army to march in. I don't think you need weapons training. You need to _talk_ to someone."

Alex slowly put the rifle on the bench and then sat down next to it. "It's not only about me. Laurent wakes up almost every night, crying. He's always thought of this ship as his safe home - until now."

Burke sat down as well. "You know, this is one of the many reasons why Starfleet stopped allowing civilian-only families aboard starships."

"I agree with that reasoning, now more than ever. It's probably somewhat fine as long as children are too young to realize what's going on but the older they get, the more aware of their situation they become - and Laurent is right at the beginning of that process."

"What's the captain's take on all this?" Burke asked.

"He has a somewhat narrow perspective because he has spent more than half of his life on starships," Alex replied. "But I _haven't_ done that, and frankly, I don't want for Laurent to grow up knowing only starship corridors. He's already asking over and over again about going to the holodeck."

"What's on the holodeck?"

"My Black Forest program. Geordi modified it slightly to make it less terrifying and also added a daytime mode and a few meadows. I took Laurent with me a few times and ever since then he's kept asking about going back there. He loves ripping out the grass and digging through the soil, so much that I had to replicate a little shovel for him. He carries it around all the time - he even sleeps next to it."

"Hmm. Does he know that what's on the holodeck isn't real?"

"Jean-Luc says we shouldn't tell him - at least not yet - because he's too young to understand. I get his reasoning, but still, it just doesn't seem right." Alex sighed. "Whenever we're in there I fear the program will break down and Laurent will sit in that empty room and stare at the bare walls in complete and utter confusion."

"I can see how that would be quite a shock for the little guy..."

"It would be, yes." Alex took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to dump all this on you, Colin."

Burke smiled. "It's okay, that's what friends are for. But..." He broke off.

"But...?"

"I'm not sure _I'm_ the one you should be talking to about this."

"I know. Jean-Luc."

"Yup."

"He wouldn't understand."

"Have you tried to talk to him? I mean, _really_ talk."

"Not yet. I fear it'll result in one hell of an argument, and I'm really not into arguments right now."

"You'll _have_ to do it, and soon," Burke said softly. "I don't think this situation with Laurent will change, at least not for the better."

"It won't," Alex agreed, looked at the rifle and then picked it up again. "I need some more practice with this. You still gonna help me?"

"Sure - but only if you promise me to talk to the captain."

"I promise."

 


	3. Chapter 3

"I honestly don't understand why Starfleet sent me this offer - surely they must know that I have no intention of accepting it...?"

Alex looked once more at the message on the screen in front of him. "It's just an offer, nothing more."

"Yes, but the fact that they even _sent_ it puzzles me a great deal."

"Why? The Federation Ambassador to Vulcan is retiring and _you_ are an excellent diplomat. Pardon the pun, but it seems only logical to me that they would think of you."

"There are other diplomats who aren't in Starfleet - they should ask one of _them_."

Alex slowly stood up from the desk chair.

Picard looked at him. "What are you doing?"

"Leaving - my shift starts in half an hour. Besides, you've made it clear you won't accept the offer, so, there's no reason for us to discuss this any further."

"Discuss it? I thought you'd be on _my_ side concerning this matter...?"

Alex shrugged.

Picard slowly walked up to his husband. "Alexander, I can tell that something's wrong. What is it?"

"I'm just tired."

"Please... we have always talked about our problems," Picard said gently. "Let's do so now as well, alright?"

Silence.

Picard cleared his throat. "Just in case this is the issue... I... umm... I know about your weapons training."

"What?"

"Will showed me Colin's weekly security report. Starfleet regulations require a mention when a civilian uses Starfleet weaponry to practice."

Alex looked away.

"It's all because of the incident with the people from that other universe, isn't it?"

"Not really. That was the initiating event that made me think about a few things but it's not the main issue."

"Then what _is_ the main issue?"

"Laurent."

Picard frowned. "What about him?"

"Haven't you noticed how scared and confused he still is because of what happened?"

"Yes, but I've already told you that he'll get over it. It takes a while."

"Maybe, but I don't think he'll get over the fact that he's living in an environment that exposes him to these kinds of threats in the first place."

Picard sat down at the desk. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that Laurent is a little boy who is beginning to realize that he's living aboard a starship - and that this starship can be a very dangerous place."

"I have full confidence in my ability to show our son that starships aren't flying death traps," Picard said grumpily. "You surprise me, Alexander - I thought your mother prefers this way of thinking, not you."

"It's not about me or you, can't you see that?" Alex pressed. "It's about Laurent. Surely you've seen how happy he is when I take him with me to my Black Forest program on the holdeck...?"

"I agree that the day will come when we have to tell him that it's just a simulation, but -"

"Jean-Luc, he doesn't need simulations - he needs the real thing. And he needs friends, too. He's always either with us, your officers or the few older kids we have on the ship. He needs to be with kids his age and make real friends, not meet even more aunts and uncles." Alex glanced at the console on the desk.

Picard caught the glance - and his eyes widened. "You're not suggesting that I should accept Starfleet's offer...?!"

"Why not? The Federation Embassy on Vulcan has a kindergarten, I believe - and a bar, too. I know the chief bartender, we went to Elementary School together. I'm sure he could pull a few strings to get me in." Alex took a deep breath. "Ironic, isn't it? It was always you who was oh-so-much against the idea of children aboard a starship - and yet I haven't heard anything about that from you in a _long_ time." 

"Alexander... I... I..."

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything right now. Just... give all of this some thought, please?" Alex put on his tuxedo jacket. "I really have to go now. See you later." He looked once more at his husband and then walked out of their quarters.

Picard gaped at the door that closed behind him, his mouth hanging open.


	4. Chapter 4

"Laurent?"

The little boy put down the action figure he had been playing with and looked at his parents in front of him.

"Would you mind if we talked for a little while?" Picard asked.

Laurent shook his head, Picard and Alex sat down on the couch next to him and exchanged one more look before Picard leaned forward a little. "Laurent, how do you like it aboard the Enterprise?"

The boy looked at him in confusion.

Alex leaned forward as well. "What Papa Jean-Luc is trying to ask is what you think about your home. You know, this place here, where you live."

"It's good...?"

"What's your favorite thing to do?"

"Go to the forest!"

His parents exchanged another glance.

"What is it that you like so much about the forest?" Picard asked.

"There's grass. And animals! And Papa Alex showed me flowers, too!"

Picard had to smile at his son's enthusiasm, despite the sinking feeling that had begun to creep into his mind. "What would you say if we told you that we can go and live in a place like that?"

"We all together?" the boy asked.

"Of course."

"Where?"

"Vulcan. What do you think about Vulcan?"

Laurent thought for a while before he answered. "Vulcan has lots of sand."

"Yes, lots and lots of sand," Alex confirmed. "But also a few animals, and even trees if you know where to look."

"But wouldn't you miss the Enterprise?" Picard pressed.

Laurent ignored the question and looked at Alex. "I could build sand castles! Could I, Papa Alex?"

"Yes, you could," Alex confirmed and looked at his husband, who returned the gaze, realization of what he had just witnessed written all over his face.

 

***********

 

"Jean-Luc...? Hey... wake up..."

Picard opened his eyes. "Wh... what?" He sat up in his armchair and winced at the rather painful protest from his shoulder muscles. "Ooooh... I must have fallen asleep at some point..."

"You did - I woke up at three in the morning and you weren't there, so I went to check where you'd gone, and found you here," Alex said. "I didn't want to wake you, so I just got you the blanket and let you sleep."

Picard slowly stood up, took the blanket and began to fold it. "Thank you. I needed some time to think after our conversation with Laurent yesterday."

"I know. It was all a bit much."

"I still don't understand why I failed to see what's happening," Picard said and put the folded blanket on the couch. "The only explanation I can come up with is that I was ready to overlook my son's wishes out of pure selfishness."

"You were busy with being a starship captain."

"I'm a father as well, I should _not_ have been this blind." Picard turned around and faced Alex. "You know what I thought? I simply assumed Laurent would follow in my footsteps. When I was his age, my uncle Alain gave me that starship toy that Laurent plays with now. I had never seen anything like it before because Father didn't allow toys like that in the house - Robert and I were playing with little old-fashioned automobiles all the time. But then suddenly this toy was in my hands and held an incredible fascination right from the start. I thought Laurent would feel the same way... I was _so_ wrong."

"You were thinking what anyone in your position would have thought," Alex said gently. "You had to fight so hard for your Starfleet career, you just wanted to make it easier for your own son."

"But I refused to see that he's not catching on," Picard insisted. "He likes the toy well enough, yes, but give him his shovel and tell him it's time for a visit to the forest and he'll just throw it away."

"He might still have a change of heart," Alex mused. "He's only four and a half years old."

"That's true, but we must _not_ rob him of the opportunity to explore other ways."

Alex walked over to his husband. "Still... you meant well."

Picard harrumphed. "I tried to push our son into a life he doesn't want just so that I could continue pursuing my career."

"Come on now - it's not that you kept him prisoner or something. He's had a wonderful life so far here on the Enterprise."

"Yes, but you're right when you say he needs more than that. Vulcan can provide the chance to explore nature with friends his age - and a stable home that does not constantly travel from one star system to another."

Alex frowned. "Are you sure you wanna do this? Give away your command, I mean. The Enterprise is your life."

"It won't be easy for me," Picard admitted. "But then, I'd still be a captain by rank - Ambassador would simply be my title. I could never resign my Starfleet commission... but I _can_ let it rest indefinitely."

"Doesn't that mean Starfleet could ask you to come back at any time?"

"Basically, yes - but they generally don't do that unless the Federation enters a state of war and asks Starfleet to draw in all those who still hold the rank of captain or higher."

"The whole thing sounds pretty final to me, then."

"It is."

"Hmm." Alex reached out and briefly squeezed Picard's hand. "Please don't rush into this, Jean-Luc. I know how much your command means to you, and I don't want for you to be miserable because of this decision. That won't help anyone, especially not Laurent."

"I know, but I thought about this a lot last night... there's another reason that convinces me to strongly consider accepting the offer, and that's the fact that I'm not getting any younger. I can't tie myself to the captain's chair forever, and I certainly don't want to end up like those old and bitter captains who have to be carried off the bridge by their own security officers because they literally refuse to let go of the chair."

"Has this ever happened?"

"It happens more often than you think - you just don't hear about it because the crews all still have so much respect for their former captain that they don't talk about the incident."

Silence.

"However... it won't _all_ be over," Picard suddenly remarked.

"What do you mean?"

"Part of my duty as an ambassador will be to travel to diplomatic conferences - and a lot of them take place on other planets. We will still find ourselves in space on a regular basis."

" _We_...?" Alex echoed.

Picard looked at him and smiled slightly. "I was hoping you might perhaps choose to accompany me sometimes...? I honestly wouldn't know how get through all these dreadfully boring diplomatic dinners without you."

Alex returned the smile. "I would be honored... Ambassador Picard."


	5. Chapter 5

**EPILOGUE**

 

 

Picard slowly walked out of the turbolift and onto the dark and empty bridge. It always felt strange to see it like this - consoles switched off, viewscreen hidden, no sounds whatsoever. Of course it was required to turn almost everything off during a ship's first day in spacedock in order to give the maintenance crews a chance to really tap into the computer core and install all the necessary updates - but it was still a process that had always unnerved Picard.

A starship was meant to fly, not rest.

He walked up to the chair in the center of the bridge and slowly put his hand on its backrest, remembering the missions he had gone through sitting in it. The first few years of the Enterprise-E had been incredibly tough, but then, after the Shinzon incident, things had started to calm down and the galaxy had almost reset itself into something that strongly resembled the mostly peaceful days of the Enterprise-D. Picard had eagerly embraced this change - after all, exploration had been the main reason why he had chosen to become a Starfleet officer.

And now?

The chair, _his_ chair, was still so very inviting, and he had to fight the urge to simply sit down and dismiss everything he had arranged for in the past six weeks.

But then rationality set in and he took his hand off the backrest. It _was_ time to step away, time to make room for another captain, time for someone else to carry the massive responsibility of over 800 lives.

Suddenly the turbolift door opened behind him. "Papa Jean-Luc?"

Picard whirled around. "Laurent? What are you doing here? You're not supposed to walk around alone. Where's Papa Alex?"

"He's with the bags."

"How could you even take the turbolift?"

"I walked in and said bridge?"

Picard frowned - and then he realized that this was actually normal: Since the ship was docked and had repair crews on almost every deck, all voice identifcation features for turbolift operations had been switched off.

He shook his head, opened his mouth and -

" _Jean-Luc?_ "

He tapped his communicator. "Yes, Alexander?"

" _Is Laurent with you? He must have walked out of our quarters when I went into the bedroom to check the bags._ "

"He's here, yes."

" _Please scold him from me. I told him to stay right where he was and **not** run after you again._ "

"I will."

Picard walked up to his son, bent down and ruffled his hair. "Did you hear that? Papa Alex is not happy."

Laurent looked at the consoles. "Why is everything dark?"

"The Enterprise is being repaired and upgraded. That's why we have switched off most of the computer's functions."

"Where are all the people?"

"I'd say most of them have beamed down to Earth by now."

"Why are _you_ here?"

' _The innocent directness of a child_ ', Picard thought and then looked at his son. "I had to say goodbye."

"I don't like saying goodbye."

"Neither do I, actually. Which... is why I think it's best if we both go back to Papa Alex now and help him with the bags, alright?"

"Yes...!"

Picard reached out his hand, Laurent took it and the two of them slowly walked up to the turbolift, went inside and turned around to face the door. It was still open, allowing Picard one last look at the dark bridge before it closed... in more than one way.


End file.
